Once Upon A Time Lord
by Beauty-half-betrayed
Summary: Queen Levana is more than happy because Emperor Kai responded affermatively in her wedding proposal. But everything is about to change because of a mysterious moonquake and an even more mysterious mad man with a blue box... Set after Scarlet. Inspired from the episode "Kill the Moon" but with Eleven instead. First ever TLC/DoctorWho crossover!
1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day in Luna. It was a moment when queen Levana simply couldn't be happier. Emperor Kai had finally accepted the wedding alliance. He had agreed to marry her. He had said _yes! _And she was really, _really_ happy!

Immediately she called her first thaumaturge, Sybil Mira. If there was a person important enough to know about this first, it was her. She answered the phone before it could even ring. Apparently, Sybil was _that_ devoted to her queen.

"Your Highness-"

"I'm getting married!"

"W-what?"

"Kai said _yes_!"

And then they screamed in sync like two thirteen-year-old fangirls (fangirls of Kai from the Commonwealth, of course).

"I mean..." Levana tried to be serious. "Tommorrow we're leaving early in the morning, for earth. Be ready."

"Of course, your majesty."

* * *

Levana went and sat in her room. All the mirrors were covered with white sheets, so that she couldn't see herself, but she knew she was beautiful. She had long red hair with fluffy curls, fair skin (just like every other Lunar, she always protected herself from the vicious rays of the sun) and her eyes were... brown? Green? Perhaps, a mix of both? She didn't remember. But, she _had _to remember- she couldn't simply change her glamour any time she wanted to. Not that she ever shut it down: she was always maintaining it, never to be seen without it in public, always there, like a firewall. All her life, all her grandeur, _everything_ was based on deception.

Suddenly, a song came to her mind, and she mindlessly started singing along the familiar, old earthly tune.

_I feel pretty_

_Oh so pretty_

_I feel pretty_

_And witty and bright..._

_And I pity_

_Any girl who isn't me tonight_

She started dancing, spinning around gracefully. No one could see her. Her own room, the room of the _queen,_ was private, as one of the few places in Luna without a monitoring circuit (this was a measure she intended to apply in earth as well, right after her coronation).

_For I'm loved_

_By a pretty, wonderful boy!_

The song ended. Levana slumped herself on her bed with a big smile on her face. Her grin only got darker, as she thought of doing something symbolic.

Levana got up, opened the drawer on her bedside table and took out a mini sphere, a glass miniature of Earth. She held it up in a small distance from her eyes.

She peered on the sphere for a moment, always keeping the same malicious look.

Soon. Soon, everything would be hers. No law would be able to stop her; none would have more power than her, and she would impose her own rules. Earth, as she knew it, was going to change forever under her government.

With a light, full of grace, flick of her wrist, she turned her hand so that the sphere was facing the floor. She let go of it; the glass shattered into a million pieces as it landed with a clash.

Then, suddenly, the ground started shaking beneath her feet. The moon was shaking. Earthquake on the moon. Levana fell down and held her head in her hands.

It felt like the earthquake was going to last for all eternity. This time it lasted for more than half a minute, unlike the previous time, which was only two days ago. That one was far less intense, and, of course, it was not mentioned in the earthly mass media. With all this mayhem there was in the last few days, she didn't wanna give any sign of weakness to the people of the earth.

When the earthquake finally stopped, Levana got up and inspected her room. Luckily, everything was in place. However, as she paced up and down, she discovered something weird when her heels started sinking in something gross and slimey. It was like someone had spilled orange juice on the floor. As she got closer, she saw that the liquid was orange. But it wasn't orange juice; it was egg yolk.

The queen felt utter confusion when she saw this. She couldn't understand where it came from. She kneeled on the floor, so far that the slimey thing wouldn't touch her fine royal then she made the connection. Her apartment was built right above the surface of the moon, and she was at the ground floor at the moment. Broken egg shells were under the tiles, and combined with the egg yolk... could it be?

Was it possible that the moon was an egg?

She screamed. Loud and desperate; desperately loud. So loud, that she didn't notice the sound of the spaceship that landed next to her, until a man got out of it and addressed her.

Now, about the spaceship... let's say, it just wasn't very common. It was... unique, weird. Which means... oh, whatever. The spaceship was camouflaged in the form of a police phone chamber.

It was a blue box.

"Stop screaming so much."

* * *

_AN: So, yeah, this is the first chapter. Levana may be a little OOC sometimes, but always remember this is just a spoof. This fanfic takes place right after Scarlet ends, but obviously for plot reasons, Levana is still on the moon. I hope that you enjoy it!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Now, about the spaceship... let's say, it just wasn't very common. It was... unique, weird. Which means... oh, whatever. The spaceship was camouflaged in the form of a police phone chamber._

_It was a blue box._

_"Stop screaming so much."_

* * *

Levana looked at the man who emerged from the blue box. He was dressed in an old-fashioned way. The first thing she noticed was that he was even wearing a bow tie. His expression didn't show any signs of danger. But he had somehow appeared, uninvited, inside the royal palace, and that's all that mattered. The queen got up.

"How dare you invade the room of the queen like this? Who are you?" she asked him.

Then she remembered to use her glamour. _Tell me now who you are, and what brought you here. And don't you dare harm the queen in any way possible. _she was repeating in her mind.

"I'm the Doctor. The TARDIS brought me here. Actually, what I wanted to do, was to fix a gap in time and space that causes an interference to the course of time onto the present." he said, looking her in the eye, obeying to her mind washing. But that only lasted for a brief moment. His attitude changed, and his efforts of resisting her finally caught up. Ignoring her, he looked at the orange liquid that was spilling on the floor more and more as time went by.

"One crack on the wall wasn't enough, so now we have a crack on the floor as well." he commented, smiling.

"Oh, you redheads..." he continued in the same cheerful tone, as he mindlessly caressed Levana's hair.

She took a step back.

"Don't. Touch. The queen."

Awkward silence fell after that. The Doctor was looking at her skeptically. "Your face..."

"What's wrong with my face?" asked Levana, and she sounded more nervous than she thought she was.

Her hands felt her "perfect" face as the Doctor kept looking at her deep in thought, his fade-out, almost non-visible eyebrows mingled together.

"It's weird" he finally said. "I was expecting it a bit more symmetrical. More intense cheekbones, fuller lips, the forehead could have less wrinkles..."

Levana goggled her eyes, and her right eyelid twitched. Did he just call her ugly?! How dare he, with those old clothes that were probably from another century, and those eyebrows that didn't even count as eyebrows?! She was shocked.

"Nonetheless, I have to admit that what you do is fascinating, and it really does make me wonde. You know, I searched on the world wide web and also the intergalactic web of the TARDIS, and, even though I found plenty of articles, I could **not** find a single actual photo of your real face."

The Doctor smiled playfully.

"So, tell me. How do you do it?" He did some signs in the air. "_Lunar magic. _Explain it to me."

He elbowed her on the ribs.

"I'm all ears."

The queen didn't seem to share his enthusiasm. She crossed her hands in front of her chest in a defensive posture.

"No. You have invaded the royal palace. That makes you dangerous. I'm calling security. Also..." she pointed at the TARDIS "that's a spaceship, right?"

"Oh, yeah..." said the Doctor, glancing indifferently at the blue box. "I knew you'd figure it out immediately. You Lunars sure know how to camouflage a spaceship."

"Are you from Earth?" she asked spontaneously.

The Doctor grimaced as if he'd heard the most stupid thing in his life. Even if it was just a simple question, it turned out to be difficult for him. He had to say something sufficient that would sound believable... He decided to go with the truth.

"I'm from Gallifrey."

He was completely serious when he said it, yet the queen couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"So you're saying you're neither from Luna, nor from Earth?"

She laughed again. Her laugh had almost the same fake sweet tone as her talking voice, and its crystal sound sounded so evil, as evil as someone would expect from a woman who had planned the murder of an innocent little girl, just to have the throne all to herself.

Anyway, that laughter would obviously make anyone feel uncomfortable. Anyone but the Doctor. Because the Doctor was too far important and too incredibly smart to be fooled or scared by a trick like this. Specifically, the manipulation of bioelectric energy was a very _cheap_ trick according to him, because the human beings who used it were detached from their moral values and were plain selfish, to say the least. Therefore, pretty much all Lunars were selfish. And the Doctor wouldn't tolerate that.


	3. Chapter 3

_Anyway, that laughter would obviously make anyone feel uncomfortable. Anyone but the Doctor. Because the Doctor was too far important and too incredibly smart to be fooled or scared by a trick like this. Specifically, the manipulation of bioelectric energy was a very cheap trick according to him, because the human beings who used it were detached from their moral values and were plain selfish, to say the least. Therefore, pretty much all Lunars were selfish. And the Doctor wouldn't tolerate that._

* * *

"Queen Levana, listen to me. I am a lord of time, and today I need your help to prevent a time paradox from happening."

The Doctor spoke in the most serious tone he could muster, which was always quite difficult to do since he'd took _that_ form.

Strange thoughts took over his mind. Absolute obedience, love for the queen, departure from Luna... Obviously, the queen was toying with his mind, but her thoughts were confused! She couldn't concentrate, because she didn't know exactly _what_ or _who_ was the Doctor, therefore she didn't know what to do with him.

"Time paradox?" she repeated.

"...Yes. You can't comprehend it, of course, because time is more like a rug in which time and space interfere..."

The Doctor kept talking in a (doubtful for Levana) scientific dialect. Suddenly, he noticed that the floor was filling up with egg yolk.

"Quick!" he shouted. "To the TARDIS!"

Despite Levana's resistance, he pushed her inside. The queen of deception heard an electronic noise just before seeing him get in and shut the door.

"What were you doing back there?"

"Oh, nothing remarkable. Just checking for any unfitting spatiotemporal molecules in the present atmosphere."

"Did this pen make all the noise?" asked Levana, pointing to what the Doctor was holding.

"That's a sonic screwdriver!" he replied. Levana immediately felt that she had offended him, but she couldn't see why.

"And why are you swirling it around like a thermometer?"

"Oh, shut up, Levana!"

"No one tells the queen to _shut up_!"

"Well, if the queen actually _knew _about the matters that are at stake, she would stop questioning everything."

While they were talking, he hadn't looked at her once. He was examining the sonic screwdriver with extreme caution.

"How do you like the TARDIS?" he asked after a while.

"...It's... quite the unexpected. Thought it looked smaller on the outside."

Again, her response felt like a disappointment to him.

"How do you resist the Lunar glamour?" she asked all of a sudden.

"I can... because I'm the Doctor. _I've got _to know what I'm dealing with exactly. Actually, to be precise, it was a gift from an old friend."

The Doctor smiled melanchonically.

"You're not a shell, are you?"

"First of all, I'm not a lunar."

"So you insist that you're alien."

The Doctor was pressing buttons while handling miscellaneous machines. The whole setting reminded Levana of the interior of a hovercar.

"Where are we going?"

"I have to find where the time paradox came from. I couldn't trace it, not until it got to its completion. The completion of a time paradox can possibly lead to the destruction of the whole universe. That means we have less than twenty-four hours to keep it from happening."

"And what caused it?"

"I have no idea. If there _is _a person who could possibly help me, that's you."

His words sank in for a little while.

Then the queen had a look around the TARDIS.

"I don't like it."

"You don't like my TARDIS?"

The doctor's childish enthusiasm melted away.

"I love my TARDIS... there was a time when it was a woman... just for a short while, though..."

The queen crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I have never seen a weirder, messier, full-of-mumbo-jumbo spaceship_ in my life_."

The Doctor, feeling hurt by her accusations, opened his mouth to defend his stolen wife. Suddenly, a familiar female voice was heard.

"Who is _she_?"

The Doctor turned to the girl who spoke. He had almost forgotten that there had been another redhead on board at the time.

"Amy! You woke up already? Oh, by the thousands nebulas of the Sigma Galaxy, why can't you earthlies sleep dozens of hours? My children on Gallifrey could sleep through a whole twenty-four hour round the clock!"

"Rory is awake too... I think."

"Could this day get any worse?!"

The queen pulled one of the levers, which was most likely in control of the brakes. The Doctor stumbled, whilst Amy managed to keep herself from falling by grabbing the handrail of the stairs.

"Why'd you do _that_ for?!" shouted the time lord.

"To keep this repulsive thing from taking me anywhere I wouldn't want to go."

"_Repulsive thing?_" repeated the Doctor, disgusted and disappointed, again. "You know, if you weren't so important to finding the cause of the paradox, this moment I wouldn't feel any guilt in throwing you out into the dangers of space, on the go!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, over the characteristic sound of the landing TARDIS with the brakes on.

At the same time, Amy had returned to the far end of the flying ship and was shaking her husband to wake him up.

"Get up, my love. The Doctor is fighting with a cheeky sexy hologram- you wouldn't wanna miss that."

* * *

_AN: Just a small explanation; the reason why Amy refers to Levana as a hologram is because she's seeing her glamour, which is slightly blocked by the powers of the TARDIS. Levana intends to keep her glamour like a shield, but is failing because of the Doctor's super extraterrestrial technology._


	4. Chapter 4

_At the same time, Amy had returned to the far end of the flying ship and was shaking her husband to wake him up._

_"Get up, my love. The Doctor is fighting with a cheeky sexy hologram- you wouldn't wanna miss that."_

* * *

Rory let out a groan of protest. _The Doctor did this, the Doctor did that... _This must have been the fifteenth time his wife was yelling at him to get up because the TARDIS had the urge to land in the most exotic places, with the weirdest people, before the clock could even strike eight in the morning.

Now, the TARDIS had stopped moving, and when Amy returned to the cockpit, she found it empty.

"Doctor?"

The door was open, and she got out as she was, with her pyjamas. What she saw was remarkably different than anything she'd seen in her life before.

It looked like a land somewhere in Asia. A festive spirit was prevailing; around her, she could see thousands of gold-and-red little lanterns, while happy songs could be heard from afar. The morning sun was blinding. Right in front of Amy was a large residence, that seemed to have been built according to traditional chinese architecture. However, the houses that were on the right and on the left of this building, seemed to be much more modern. For instance, over the horizon, Amy was able to see a supermodern skyscraper.

"Doctor?" she called out to him, again. No answer.

* * *

"Shall your heighness ever just SHUT UP!?" shouted the Doctor, turning to Levana, who hadn't stopped whining since the moment they got out of the TARDIS.

The timelord scanned the place around him with his sonic screwdriver. He stopped after a while, realizing there was no point in doing so. He looked upon the sky, then the buildings, the landscape, even the passengers, as if perceiving them for the first time.

Which was what he was doing, actually.

"So that's how New Beijing looks like..." he said in awe.

Levana was standing nearby, with her hands crossed. "Yeah, why, haven't you been here before?"

"To be honest, no... I dare say, it's an interesting twist of fate... but that doesn't reverse the fact that it's _wrong_."

"Wrong?" asked the queen, confused.

The Doctor almost got tempted to talk about his true motives.

"Erm... pretend you didn't hear that."

Suddenly, he saw a familiar figure walking towards them. He peeked over Levana's shoulder.

"What are you looking at?"

The Doctor waved his hand, greeting the approaching person. Instead of waving back at him, the Doctor's friend was confused... until he got close to them.

"Do I know you?" asked the man, who was a stranger for Levana.

Blue eyes, dark brown hair, playful dimples, and a very familiar blue trench coat. He looked exactly the same, as if not a day had passed for him from the last time the Doctor and he had met.

The Doctor, on the other hand...

"Jack!" he exclaimed. "It's me, the Doctor!" He grinned. "The Doctor. The madman with the box."

Jack finally seemed to understand.

"New body?" asked Jack, as he observed the Doctor. The Doctor nodded.

"You've changed a lot, my friend."

* * *

"What the hell is this place?!" exclaimed Amy, in her characteristic, thick scottish accent.

"Wow." was all Rory had to say, causing her to jump. Somehow he'd gotten behind her without making a single sound.

"I could say it's a steampunk version of some asian country... looks really futuristic... Anyway, you have to admit it's pretty cool" said Amy, voicing her thoughts.

"Amy..."

Her husband tapped her shoulder gently. She turned to face him.

"What is it?"

"Before we head out to find the Doctor, because I know that's what we're gonna do, eventually... why don't you go inside and wear actual clothes first?"

Rory, before going outside, had the foresight to change clothes. Amy, however, did not. She was still in her pyjamas, as she realized whilst looking down.

"Yes, honey. I'm going in, now."

Few metres ahead of them, two men (who Amy presumed were policemen), were leading somewhere a young man, who had his hands cuffed behind his back. While the three of them came across the TARDIS, the young man turned to Amy's side, gave her a dirty look, glancing at her, head to toe, smiled and winked at her.

"Keep your head straight!" one of the policemen shouted at him.

Rory noticed that too. "Hey! Don't look at my wife like that!"

Amy blushed slightly and smiled. Somehow, this situation was making her feel very... _flattered._

"Well, you can tell your _wife_ to put some clothes over her nightie!" piped back the young man, refusing to look straight. He had blue eyes, blond hair and a distinct american accent.


End file.
